Apologue #49: Slooooooow Men

One of my pet peeves when it comes to dating is slow men. You know who you are and what I mean. Men that are indecisive and don’t know what they want. It drives me up the wall. Frankly, it should drive any woman up the wall and bat crazy at that. If you’re just slow and that’s how you date, that’s alright. But if you’re slow whilst still doing all the flirting and talking late into the night bit — I no longer know if you just want some booty or you’re just.that.thick.

Take for example, my college buddy, Theo. Yes, the one who “led” me on but didn’t know because of his lack of relationships. (Click here and read bulletin No.2). Sure he drove me crazy for almost two years of our friendship and yes, I did invest a heck of a lot of time and effort to make him see me for who I am, which of course crashed and burned because he was just.that.slow. It was horrendous. I don’t even like talking about.

Maybe there’s a breed of men that are just supposed to be hard to read or figure out. Maybe they reside in some kind of neutral zone, like Switzerland! between the sexes and that’s why they’re awesome because they are generally, straight heterosexual males but with androgynous features that gives them the ability to still enjoy sports and be macho but also sensitive and talk with you long hours into the night.

When I think about Theo, all I remember are our long phone conversations. This was in college too, so we definitely invested a lot of time that we shouldn’t have if we both knew where this was going, which was a dead end. Each day we awoke to texts from each other and wishing one another a good day. Which then led to texts here in there in between class periods. Then of course instant messaging (ahhh~ the days of AIM) whilst we “study” at home or the library. Then we’d both have a break and eat something and have a little of our own time to ourselves and then end the night with an average of five hours (you heard right, FIVE freaking hours) EACH night as we fall asleep to the sound of our voices and then BAM. It’s morning again and we do it all over again.

I’m not crazy and I kid you not, that’s what I did with him for 2 freaking years and pondering WHEN THE HELL HE’LL STRAP ON HIS BALLS AND ASK ME THE FREAK OUT. Of course, in the end I gave up. Me and my naive self could no longer hold on patiently and I was frustrated to the point where I thought my pride would break. I left without looking back and don’t give him the time any more. He, on the other hand, has no idea what caused the change in our friendship. He’s still single and has always been single. Good riddance.

Isn’t this ridiculously frustrating? What is it? Don’t you really know? It’s not that hard to figure out what you want, right? What are you hiding and calculating for you to take this long? The reason I’m frustrated thinking about this all over again is because I’m yet again in a situation where I am a sitting duck with another Theo. I don’t know why I put through with it again.

Example number two is my dear friend, Ron. You all remember, Ron, my sweetheart. Update on him now is that he’s broken up with said girlfriend a month ago and is single and ready to mingle. He’s single which definitely makes me feel better about not having to worry about shying him away but now we’re talking more than ever again and it’s confusing again. I know I stated before that with him, I should make some more changes and take more chances because I felt like I lost something great when he got himself a girlfriend. But now, months later, that feeling of infinite is gone and I’m back to square one where I was with him.

We still do two to three hour phone conversations and texts along the way. When mentioning the time I’ve been spending on Ron to one of my friends, they were extremely happy of the circumstances but the minute I mentioned if this doesn’t seem all too familiar and pop in Theo’s name, my friend sat there stunned with a worried expression and was silently cursing throughout our conversation. She knows how bad it was and doesn’t want me to endure that all over again. Which I surely hope I don’t make the same mistake of dragging this one on for years into the future. I no longer have the strength.

But really, men. Sometimes I just don’t understand what you’re doing. Even when I know it’s not a booty call and I know you’re not that kind of guy — why on earth are you tormenting not only us, but yourself with this? It’s not just us that’s putting our time and effort on the line. You too, are investing a lot of time for nothing if you don’t make a move. Don’t you realize that the longer you pull this off, the harder it will be for BOTH of us to find ANYONE to date. As OM stated when I asked for advice on this, why on earth would any guy want to date me if I spend three hours into the night talking with another dude no matter how close we are? This applies to you too because I can guarantee you that no future girlfriend will find you cute talking to another woman for three hours just to chitchat. Don’t kid yourself, we’re programmed to be jealous and we will never stop nagging you for it.

So, is it because there’s something blocking you in wanting all of this or are you that slow that you can’t make up your mind? My patience is drying up and I don’t know how much longer I can wait for you no matter how awesome you are and how much I love you for what you mean to me. Sayonara, dude.

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Apologue #48: The Red String of Fate

Ever hear about the red string of fate? It’s all about love. The red string of fate, also referred to as the red thread of destiny, red thread of fate, and other variants, is an East Asian belief originating from Chinese legend and is also known to be used in Japanese legends, as well. According to the myth, the gods tied an invisible red string around the ankles of men and women who are destined to be soul-mates and will one day marry each other. Often, in Japanese culture, it is thought to be tied on the pinky finger.

The two people connected by the red thread are destined lovers — regardless of time, place or circumstances. The magical string may stretch or tangle, but can never break. The myth is similar to the Western concept of soul-mates or a destined flame.

There are many folklore tales such as these in other foreign cultures that I have heard about. I remember one Greek legend about how humans used to two beings born to be stuck together by the hip, until the gods split everyone up into single beings, and so we search wholeheartedly of our other “missing” half/twin. The concept of soul-mates through legends that transverse through time and in different cultures are always so captivating to hear about and learn.

We all know that these legends have been romanticized dramatically to aspire young people about love, but I’ve always had a heart for them and will always lend an ear to hear more. Believing in destiny has become a young person’s game but it never hurts to dream every once in a while under a blue moon.

Apologue #45: Back to Christmas Mode

Brrr~ the weather outside is frightful! And I LOVE it! I’m telling you that I couldn’t be happier. I just got out of a steaming, hot shower — got myself a nice cup of lemon honey tea — and I’m bundled up and ready to cuddle (happily with my laptop, of course, and bust out some leftover Christmas movies I didn’t get to watch over the holiday season).

My mother is nagging again about me being single for too long. Let me note that relationship-wise, I have been single for one year — but dating-around/mingling-wise, it’s been about two or three months (which isn’t too bad). The reason she got all naggy again is because it’s cold outside and she remarked how pitiful it was that I don’t have someone to cuddle with (big whoop). I got my trusty laptop and bundles to bundles of fuzzy blankets to keep me nice and toasty as I watch my movies, thank you very much.

Sure, it would be nice if I had someone special to cuddle with and drink tea and just lazy around home and watch movies with, but eh, it’s not like I can’t do these things alone. I mean, there’s no candlelight steak dinners awaiting or me decking out in a negligee, no sirree, just me, myself and three layers of pajamas. I’m just praying that all my pipes freeze over tonight so work may possibly be cancelled; I’m such the responsible adult.

I’m contemplating whether I should watch a holiday romantic comedy or just have a typical movie night. My weekly movie night is always on Wednesdays, a midweek rest day if you will. I call it, “Wacky Wednesday Movie Mania!” I don’t care what my future boyfriend, fiance, husband says — I’m keeping this tradition alive. Anyways, I’m always up for suggestions on any great movie titles, as well, I’m quite the film mania.

Well, this certainly was an unconventionally nonsensical albeit random post . . .

Love Quote #7: Late Bloomer

When life and love are referenced into flowers I feel that my personal life motto  is: “A flower that wilts before it blooms.” I’ve heard it from someone before, sadly enough. It was actually my mentor, confidante, and dear friend. And I believe he knew what he was talking about.

He knows the path that I have walked, the loves that have crossed before me, and the pain that has crashed along the way. He knows how emotional I am even though I don’t show it, and he knows just how much I have gone through in my short life to really know how I am and how I view life.

So when he said, he sees me he can see a flower that wilts before it has a chance to bloom, I believe it because I can feel it. All the pain and sorrows, the loves that could have been but were never meant to be, and just how tired and exhausted I am (already) before I had a chance to show anything good about myself to the world.

I’m a late bloomer for sure. And what an incredible father Mulan had to encourage her along her challenges in life (my father is awesomely supportive too, but does wish I get married soon). Time to raise my chin up high, smile bright, and wait to finally bloom at the right time.

Apologue #39: On Your FIRST Try!!?

   
   
   

One of my dear obsessions is definitely “Friends.” I can quote anything from it in any given situation in my own personal life without blinking an eye. It’s definitely my go-to sitcom whenever I’m eating alone, or need a pick-me-up, or even background noise. I’m 100% a Chandler when it comes to personality but with marriage, Ross totally hits the target.

I feel that even though I won’t marry as many times Ross did, coming that close to finding the “One” and then losing it because it wasn’t something you thought it was will probably happen to me often. When I was younger and more optimistic about love and finding my soul-mate, I believed in everything that I saw and felt. Now that I’m older and have met enough men to know better, I can’t trust what’s there to be real anymore and won’t believe the love that I see and feel to be true.

Talk about being heartbroken and deceived too many times to make me feel less of a woman, sheesh. The talk of marriage is everywhere now that most of my friends are hitched. Especially close friends and even my family all know about it.

This past weekend, a close girlfriend of mine tied the knot and my parents were ecstatic to hear everything about it and how it went when she called today. Of course she sent a couple texts from her bridal photo shoot and some from the actual wedding, and my parents were very pleased to see them and we are all very happy for her.

But of course, as we all know, as soon as we were done looking at pictures the hurricane of attacks on when I will marry, or at least start dating, blah blah, all your friends are now married, blah blah blah, by the time they have kids and they’re off to kindergarten you may still be single, etc etc. It gets real tiring when you hear this kind of ranting since you were twenty one years old.

But no matter how much I hear about how happy and blissful the couples are even with their faults and mistakes, plus how good the marriage is turning out to be, it really fascinates me every single day how these people find each other. I’m realistic but I do try to be optimistic in life, but I’m one of those people that believe it takes a miracle for two people to fall in love at the exact time to have something special, nonetheless even more if you’re planning on a marriage together.

I’ve been engaged once before to know that love is not perfect and it isn’t meant to be. I’m not foolish and naive that marriage will always be blissful and nothing but rainbows and butterflies. I know it takes a great amount of effort, patience, and a whole lot of love to live with someone and start a family together. So how is it, that others can do it so well but not myself?

I can’t say that having trust issues is the reason why I can’t believe in men because all women have trust issues. This excuse is like the foundation of everything when it comes to putting your faith on men. I can’t say that I have too much experience in dating thus marriage doesn’t work because I’m actually lacking experience and still do believe in the sanctity of marriage. I can’t say that I’ve had the worst luck in finding good men and having good relationships because I did find decent men, it just didn’t work out the right way at the right time.

These days, I’m having a hard time realizing whether I’m normal because I can see all the good and bad of marriages or if I’m blinded that I don’t see enough good in the hearts of men to began anything. It’s like I’m Ross. I believe in love and I do go after what the heart wants — but the only difference between Ross and I, are that he keeps believing that it’ll end out happily ever after and I test if it’s really happily ever after.

I need assurance that I can trust the man and it’ll be alright, but if the man doesn’t give it to me, I don’t ever see the happily ever after. Most of us girls dream of our perfect fantasy wedding and what kind of “prince” we’ll end up marrying and how we’d live our dreamy fairy tale. I personally, can only go so far into the fantasy wedding and I can’t go beyond imagining what the marriage will be like because I’m too afraid to go beyond my fantasy and be shattered by the truth, as if I don’t deserve a fairy tale of my own.

Is it just me? It boggles me because there are more people finding each other and happily getting married and there’s less of people like me that wants to question everything before it’s too late. Am I too cautious or am I just bat-crazy? Leave comments and talk to me about your opinions. I can’t be the only one!

Apologue #36: I Know Who I Am


  
  
  

If you have never seen or heard of “Adventure Time,” you need to get your tush down on a couch and shimmy on over to Cartoon Network sometime and watch an episode. It may seem weird and crazy at first, but the message underlying the cartoon motif is amazing. This one for instance, is actually the most fantastic and inspirational advice from a female character geared towards children that I have ever seen!

This is exactly how I feel personally when reflecting my own life, and it is the most comfortable and confidence lifting persona you can ever have. To know who you are and to know what you want takes a long time to figure out. And to have that confidence to know that you will know what you deserve is always a refreshing feeling.

The time you spend in uncovering the crevices and nooks in your heart will enlighten the path in knowing who you need and want in your life. Don’t worry, be happy. Your time will come 🙂

Apologue #35: Fantasies Gone Wrong

I feel that I shouldn’t daydream or fantasize about Mr. Right anymore. As a woman and a young girl at heart, this will definitely be a challenge but it’ll make my love life so much easier. Let me break down the dirty details.

Two weeks ago, as I was visiting friends back in my college town, I also got in touch with my good friend, Timothy. My lunch date with Tim was actually right after my breakfast brunch with Ron the same day. Go figure. Anyways, Tim and I are friends but we’re not greatly acquainted yet. We have hung around each other with large groups of other friends but never alone to just talk, this lunch was our first date.

To brief up Tim, he’s a real sweet and hard-working kind of guy. He is nerdy and quite brainy, but he also knows when to let it loose and have fun too. Tim is hard to talk about because I can say a lot of what he can do but I can’t talk much about what he’s like. I know him well but I don’t know of him.

But the Tim that I do know, I am very attracted to. I like his nerdy persona and his geeky ways. One day we’d be talking about linguistics and why the English language changes meanings in its course over generations and then next, he’ll randomly burst out to Disney songs with his guitar. He’s not spontaneous but he can be unpredictable. That’s what makes him an awesome nerd. So I’d be lying if I said I haven’t thought about him from time to time.

I’ve daydreamed about him before and how our life would be if we’d been together. I feel that it would be a lot of fun but at the same time we’d know when to buckle down and be serious too. We’d have Doctor Who marathons as we snuggle on the couch and then dress up as wizards and witches on Halloween and brew up Butterbeer for our friends at our dinner parties. For leisure we’d read and sing Disney songs together and put on our own show of the entire movie with no one to show. At least, that’s how I fantasized what kind of couple we’d be.

I haven’t thought of him much lately until recently one couple started to suggest that we should start seeing each other and that we’d make a cute couple. We’re both nerdy, have the same interests, and are looking for a good companion. So, why not? I called him up for a lunch date to see if there really can be something good between us the minute I arrived into town.

The lunch date turned out to be a lot of fun. It wasn’t at all awkward considering we haven’t talked in the past couple of months, and we really got caught up in the moment of just getting to know each other better. I was really surprised and happy to know that even though I thought he wasn’t interested in me per se, at least he remembered my areas of interest, what programs I was interested in when it comes to studying and thinking about going back to school, which honestly isn’t something hard to remember unless the person is at least a good friend. So it was a good thing to know that at least, he and I are at a good starting point.

But throughout lunch as I was asking about his future plans and if he’s been seeing anyone, I was glad he was honest with me and told me how he went on a blind date recently, but other than that he has no interest of starting anything with anyone new any time soon. Even when I hinted of my availability and seeing if he’d catch up to what I was referring, he was reserved and his body language with his arms crossed throughout our conversation was sign sure enough that he wasn’t interested.

Not to also forget that as I was sitting there and talking to him, I really got to feel what I was fantasizing about him, and it turns out that he wasn’t at all like what I thought he would be. Sure, I really wouldn’t know given that I haven’t personally dated him. But even while we were together, he wasn’t his nerdy self — he seemed more refined, reserved, and strangely critical. He wasn’t at all the warm and carefree nerd that I found attractive. Picture Chandler from “Friends” that suddenly changed into a Sheldon from “The Big Bang Theory.” Get the picture? Both attractive respectively but not what I came looking for with Tim.

I’m not really a forward person but I am the type that doesn’t want to lose a good chance when given the opportunity. I felt that he and I could have something special and considering how I no longer reside in the same place that he is in now, I felt that this type of chance where I can see him wouldn’t come often so I did all that I felt be fit for the timing. Sure, it didn’t turn out well but at least I know that we may not have been compatible as I had dreamed we would be.

So, what am I trying to say? Stop all girls from fantasizing their Mr. Right? No. That’s an impossibility. But at least have the sense to get to know who you’re fantasizing first before you start making up things that don’t even exist would be a great start. I knew that guy enough to fantasize what we would be doing together what I found enjoyable and I know he finds enjoyable too, but it turns out I was still wrong because maybe that’s something he doesn’t do to be intimate with a girlfriend. I’ll never know. But maybe toning down the fantasies can help you in seeing and getting to know the guy you’re crushing on before you break yourself within your own bubble. It’s not a good feeling having to burst your own bubble from a fantasy gone wrong.

Apologue #31: Creepy Coincidences

Have you ever had signs or coincidences that come across your path when it comes to relationships? Or have you gone searching for them in hopes that it leads you to a more positive light in encouraging your decisions? I’m one of those people that don’t bother too much when it comes to coincidences just because I believe it to be more of situations that were bound to happen. I will admit that I look for signs in guidance to my decision-making skills when it comes to the beginning stages of relationships. But today, the encounters that I had this past weekend are boggling my mind in a disturbing way that I feel that I should write them down in hopes of better understanding what just happened. Here’s my story . . .

I had a spur of the moment, spontaneous four day weekend granted to me by surprise from my boss which I took at first chance and went straight to a mini road trip back to my old college town of my undergrad days. It was the perfect trip to make because I had a friend that was going to get married soon that I really wanted to see and congratulate just because I couldn’t make it to their wedding in January. After spending a good amount of the weekend with the couple, I went ahead and had a brunch date with my good friend, Ron.

I’ve talked about Ron before. He’s the sweet friend of mine that doesn’t believe he is fit to be anyone’s “Prince Charming.” To fully understand what’s been bothering me, I’ll do a quick recap of our friendship relationship. Ron and I have only known each other for a good year and a half but we became close pretty instantaneously. We were in the same department back in University plus we have similar personalities. Our friendship is a great one full of spunk, secrets, and even intimacy.

There were many times when people believed we were dating. We are very comfortable with each other and have even jokingly played the “girlfriend and boyfriend” game just because it’s fun and we’re two lonely single people. Many times we would text and call each other “sweetie” or “babe” as a nickname when starting conversations. We didn’t care, it was all for show.

But I will admit that there have been few circumstances where I had my doubts about this kind of friendship we had. It definitely wasn’t friends with benefits but there was also something indifferent between us. Sometimes, these nicknames seemed real and I was confused of how well Ron would treat me. Our phone conversations were usually at least two hours each time. We frequently had dinner and coffee dates. Our shortest date on record was five hours and our longest has been twelve. And we have had moments where we both have felt and said that we didn’t want to leave each other and just talk (and talk is usually what we did.) Surprisingly, he had a lot to say for a man.

Our talks and heart-to-heart conversations were always bound to just the two of us and I trust him with all my heart. We have great emotional intimacy but never had anything physical. Then I moved away because of a new job and he stayed back. Since my move, I have only visited him twice in this first year I’ve been away. Both times great and intimate but of course only lasts a month or so before we crawl back to our daily lives and we don’t talk for months again.

So, back to my original topic of coincidences, I visited him for a brunch date this weekend and was shocked to find news that he started seeing someone. One week to be exact and I congratulated him for it. I was happy for him because he needed someone good in his life, and him dating has definitely cleared up a lot of what has happened between us until I asked what his new girlfriend was like.

It really shocked me to the core when I found that she has the same name as I do, along with the same age, same background and personality, and when he showed me a picture of her, a very similar facial structure. Like I said, I don’t believe in coincidences but this was really creeping me out. I mentioned how similar her and I were and he just laughed saying I was right and I was given nothing more.

Later, as he was talking about the process in the development of their relationship, I started to notice an emotion of despair in his voice. As much as we were similar, she does have characteristics that are of total opposite to myself and he’s been having trouble in those general areas. He shared how there are some cases where he just can’t understand her and that it’s only been just a week since their relationship started but already he’s been thinking too much and having doubts.

I tried my best to listen and give him the advice any friend would give him. I told him that she was now his priority and he must do his job in appreciating her efforts for him and that he should pay attention and also give her the benefit of the doubt. As much as I can see how much he cares for her, I had inklings of feelings that this wasn’t going to last.

He had also mentioned that he had someone else that he had liked before the start of this current relationship and that was the reason it took him so long to go along with this relationship because he didn’t succeed with the other. It made me wonder if that other person was me.

Hearing about how stressed he is hurts me as a friend. Seeing him as a man in a sudden relationship has definitely shocked me as a woman. Was I jealous of this relationship? Did I have an attraction for Ron but never noticed? Or does he look good now because he’s no longer available? These are questions that are roaming inside my head and I can’t honestly answer.

As he was looking at me for advice and pleading for the right answers in what to do, I did give him advice as I normally would have. He also noted that he may frequently call me up or text me more than usual when in dire need. I made a promise to myself that I probably wouldn’t respond unless it was an emergency. I don’t want to be the cause of what could happen if given the wrong advice. It’s better to avoid these situations altogether just in case one part of me becomes tempted to ruin his relationship so I can obtain him for myself. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself for being the “other woman.”

Am I going overboard with this? Was it all just a trick of how life is full of surprises? Some people may say these cases are synchronizations. That these kinds of things just happen to revolve around our lives consistently but we just now notice them because we want them to give us a reason in doing something about it. I’m really unsure of everything.

Should I do something about it if I feel that I need to? Should I make some changes and take some chances?

Apologue #28: Super Daddy Syndrome

It’ll be long months before Father’s Day comes around so what’s up with the daddy hooplah? Simple. I want to introduce something I call the “Super Daddy Syndrome” that we young women have been dreaming up. The more I observe other young women, and of course myself included, I feel that I have come to one sure and close idea to why we drive men crazy.

It wasn’t until one day I’ve started to notice that the singles count in my group of friends have started to enlarge by the months. There used to be more couples in our circle but then before we all realized it, we were all just a couple of singles. It started off with the men and then grew onto women. More and more people stopped dating and more and more are continuously saying no to marriage and putting it off the utmost that they can.

I’ll be honest when I say that I’ve heard statistics how people are marrying less and stopped having children. But I sure don’t need research to  show me why this is so when I can see it revealing everything that I need to know right before my own eyes.

When I look at just my male friends, they are all exceptionally well-endowed. They are handsome each in their own respective ways, all either have decent jobs or are students at grad school, and wonderful characteristics. But I kid you not, all are absolutely single and women-free. When asked why that is, most do acknowledge the fact that they should meet someone and honestly reply that they are lonely but also note that to maintain a good relationship and be happy with who they are dating has become a physical and mental hardship.

Before I go on, I also took a look at my female friends that were all single. They were all beautiful and gorgeous, also carry decent jobs or are students, and are loving and carry perfectly good personalities too (just like the men). Most weren’t men-free, they did have dates occasionally but still, weren’t able to carry out and build relationships. When I asked them why they thought they were still single, most either replied that there weren’t any decent men around or that the men they always meet were dogs.

Both groups carry lonely people and both groups all carry exceptionally good potentials for dating experiences, so why is it, that even though they know each other (or even if they don’t) can’t make spark happen? This is where I will start treading on tricky grounds. I am a woman too but I’m going to have to note it all right here that this fault is on our side.

Let me explain. More and more women are growing to have better backgrounds and statuses because of what they can achieve in this day and age. Most are obtaining better jobs and managing them wisely through bettered education systems and experiences. With that, more are able to also reach higher goals, see and want better things, and so also comes more higher expectations from how we also value ourselves. Which is great, kudos to that. I’m all power to the women. I went to a good school, got good job opportunities, met good people, so heck, I know that my expectations and standards in what I’m looking for in searching for a spouse has significantly gotten higher compared to when I was just in college (but I’ve also started seeing young college women also raising their standards higher these days compared to when I was in college too, but that’s another matter).

So with all that in mind, we want husbands with better paying jobs, we want husbands that can afford to take the family out on vacations every year, we want husbands that can cook for us when we get sick (or let alone, cook anything at all!), we want husbands that will love kids and actually take care of them, we want this and that and that and this . . .  see my drift? We don’t want just any man now. We want a Super Man and with marriage, a Super Daddy.

The funny thing here is, women will rarely seldom admit all of this. Because now it’s become a part of the norm. It’s become something that we should all want and should have indefinitely. Because we deserve more and better. So, they can’t admit to seeing this as something drastically more than from what they originally want, because these needs have already become a foundation. Hence, they don’t (or more like can’t) admit that this is too much.

Men already know this (or at least, the suitable bachelors that are my male friends) too. They already feel the pressures and feel themselves being weighed down and drained from all these other responsibilities. Back in the day, it was just a decent job to bring home the bacon. Now it’s this with a side of taking the kids to Disneyland every spring break alongside the basket of laundry and dishes to do before retiring for the night. And let’s not forget a little bit of listening to the wife on how her day went, before actually going to sleep.

I can actually see all of this. They don’t have to tell me it’s hard because I can see it from just looking at myself. I’m not saying that we as women don’t deserve better, of course we do. But just like you’re precious and a princess at your own home with family, he’s also a precious prince in someone else’s. The bottom line is, we need to cut them some slack when it comes to FAMILY responsibilities. It’s not just his, you’re a part of that family too.

If the case was as simple as equaling out errands and paying the bills, this wouldn’t be such a problem. The men already know that we’ll be asking for more and more. Maybe that’s why they are readying themselves for the aftermath of what comes with marriage. While my female friends are searching high and low for any potential man that deems suitable for their future lifestyle, all (I kid you not!) my male friends are studying hard and working their butts off saving for something or anything that can come close as a good family dream for them. To which I find both admirable and upsetting.

I could be sensitive just because they are my friends but the women are my friends too. And I am one of them. Even as I write this apologue and I’m thinking about what I value are my needs, I still feel a twinge of guilt because I still don’t feel like they are much to ask. But I would by lying if I didn’t say that I’m a carrier for the “Super Daddy Syndrome.”

Where did good, simple romance all go?