Apologue #50: Ignorance is the Best Policy

THIS IS A RANT POST AND YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Okay, having this established that I’ll be rambling, this is something that boils me over every single time even when, I too, am a woman. It’s just that some girls baffle me to the point where I think my brain is on the verge of exploding. This has nothing to do with age, whether you know the right facts, or what you think is the best choice for yourself because you can’t make the right decisions if you have NO  COMMON SENSE.

I have experience in teaching safe sex education not just to youths and teenagers but adults too. Having been a peer counselor, I am very comfortable in talking about any areas that people have questions about when it comes to relationships and sex, contraceptives and STDs, as well as trauma cases. I actually encourage people to always ask me questions if there are any gray areas or if they are confused about anything (and I mean, ANYTHING). And I have done this long enough to not judge people in whatever problems they bring me. My priority as a counselor and educator, is to always help you first.

BUT, let me just note the fact, that it will tick me off quite a few times, when I tell you to be straightforward with me and encourage you to be honest, but you wait too long until after the problem has happened and thus creating a even bigger problem, and THEN you still want me to help you fix it. I still won’t judge you but I will be very disappointed and upset with you. This kind of irresponsible behavior, acting like headless chickens or off-the-wall hormonal teenagers, will indeed, make me want to rip your head off. Why ask for help now after the aftermath when these have now become your consequences? Do you not know it’s just that much harder to help you now? And you wonder why therapists have high levels of stress.

To explain my rants better, today was just one of those days. A friend (I know!) was scared that she might be pregnant with her boyfriend’s baby and she didn’t know what to do about it. Now, having said that, she was asking for help and I was more than willing to be with her every step of the way. It wasn’t until I got curious to ask just how they’be been managing their sex life when she got so scared from “possibly” being pregnant.

Surprise, surprise. No knowledge of safe sex. No knowledge of contraceptives, even off the counter medications. No knowledge of even understanding and knowing how sex should feel. But the scariest fact of them all, is that she has had other sexual partners before yet she still didn’t know anything remotely basic. She’s been living a life of disarray without any knowledge about taking better care of herself and her body. Seriously? SERIOUSLY?? 

Seriously, you’re in your twenties! How did you live life without knowing any of this vital information? Did your mother never tell you? Did your school never have sex education when you were younger? If no one has ever told you, why did you never ask? You know this is my area of expertise and I’m your friend, why did you not come sooner? If you were too embarrassed, pick up a book. If you don’t know what books to find, my gawd, just Google it. The sources are everywhere. You just did not care.

This may seem like useless ranting, but I’m also stating it because I genuinely care about people and what happens to them. Especially if it was problems that could have been prevented. If you need help, if you have questions, if you need answers, just talk to me. It’s that simple. I will be your confidante. I will help you to the best of my abilities so that I can meet your needs. This obtains to all my followers and people that don’t even follow me. I don’t care. Sex is more serious than we take it for.

I may sound old because of my style of ranting, but I’m young too just like all of you. I’m in my twenties too but I seriously believe that people, young and old, don’t take these matters as serious as they should be. Any questions?

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Love Quote #7: Late Bloomer

When life and love are referenced into flowers I feel that my personal life motto  is: “A flower that wilts before it blooms.” I’ve heard it from someone before, sadly enough. It was actually my mentor, confidante, and dear friend. And I believe he knew what he was talking about.

He knows the path that I have walked, the loves that have crossed before me, and the pain that has crashed along the way. He knows how emotional I am even though I don’t show it, and he knows just how much I have gone through in my short life to really know how I am and how I view life.

So when he said, he sees me he can see a flower that wilts before it has a chance to bloom, I believe it because I can feel it. All the pain and sorrows, the loves that could have been but were never meant to be, and just how tired and exhausted I am (already) before I had a chance to show anything good about myself to the world.

I’m a late bloomer for sure. And what an incredible father Mulan had to encourage her along her challenges in life (my father is awesomely supportive too, but does wish I get married soon). Time to raise my chin up high, smile bright, and wait to finally bloom at the right time.

Apologue #36: I Know Who I Am


  
  
  

If you have never seen or heard of “Adventure Time,” you need to get your tush down on a couch and shimmy on over to Cartoon Network sometime and watch an episode. It may seem weird and crazy at first, but the message underlying the cartoon motif is amazing. This one for instance, is actually the most fantastic and inspirational advice from a female character geared towards children that I have ever seen!

This is exactly how I feel personally when reflecting my own life, and it is the most comfortable and confidence lifting persona you can ever have. To know who you are and to know what you want takes a long time to figure out. And to have that confidence to know that you will know what you deserve is always a refreshing feeling.

The time you spend in uncovering the crevices and nooks in your heart will enlighten the path in knowing who you need and want in your life. Don’t worry, be happy. Your time will come 🙂

Apologue #9: “I’m Hopeless and Awkward and Desperate for Love!”

              

              

              

Hello, I’m Chandler Bing. It’s actually pretty funny because I believe I am the female counterpart of my favorite Friends sitcom character. I even took one of those online quizzes one time to see “Which character are you on Friends?” and I got him too (funny how they asked for your sex but I still got a dude. Meh.) And here I was thinking I was a Monica 😀

But the more I look into Chandler, the more I feel that we are all awkward and desperate when it comes to love. Especially me. Sometimes I really wonder if I choose to be single or if I’m single because I’m quirky and weird and people find that . . . weird? Haha, nonetheless, at least I am happy with my situation and I’m not wondering aimlessly flirting with every male that comes in my view. But I do have a part of me that can be needy, that can be lonely, and let’s face it, desperate.

But you know, at the end of the day, it all comes down to owning up to yourself and really getting to know who exactly you are and feeling comfortable with it. It’s all about loving yourself for whoever you are, no matter how awkward or needy you may be, and admitting to yourself who you are in order to face all the other competitors out there in the dating field. The sooner you’re able to accept yourself, the sooner others will be able to see the real you and come forward to get to know you too.

So here’s to the hopeless, awkward, and desperate in all of us! Huzzah! 🙂

Life Quote #1: “Be Who You Are”

I want to stress this out so much to the general public. It’s surprising how society has crushed so many people, young and old, to not be able to speak their mind because of too many people judging one another. It’s truly sickening to not be comfortable in your own skin because of what someone may think of you. If for any reason you feel you’ll be judged and ridiculed by something you say to the people who you thought were your friends, then they are not your real friends. It’s simple as that. It may seem easier said than done but it’s a huge reality check that we’re all afraid of encountering.  But in the end, at least you were yourself and not who you pretended to be in front of the same, exact people you call as “your friends.”

The reason I’m posting this today is because I feel too many of us wear masks in front of each other when we are in groups. I get it, you’re not as comfortable as when you’re with just two people or your close friends compared to a solid group of six or seven. I wear a mask too, the mask of silence and tend to not join in on conversation much but observe people. Which is why I discovered (and for a long period of time I have known about this) that too many people hide their real personas, and it’s usually the really cool and awesome side that’s unique and one-of-a-kind, but get too afraid that someone might judge them of their quirkiness. What’s so wrong about being different? Last that I checked, it was awesome to be unique and new. As we grow older do we subconsciously turn to social conformity to be more accepted in our communities? Am I the only one that missed this new social construct of being an adult? Because I don’t like it at all.

I feel that the more I keep my true sides inside of me, the more I’ll be swallowed up by a community of cookie cutters and I fear that one day I’ll be just like them. I was taught to be independent and to be strong-willed and be who I want to be. I was taught to speak my mind and not be afraid to do it as I’m proclaiming what I believe is right.

It’s the same with friendships and relationships. How is anyone supposed to know the real you if you keep hiding it in fear that the other person might judge you and not like you? If they judge you, move on and find better friends. If they don’t, they’re keepers. You don’t need friends or relationships that drag you down just because you were being yourself. You’re too awesome to let anyone else tell you otherwise.

Be yourself. Speak your mind. Love and respect yourself, and I can guarantee you, that you will find others who believe the same.