100th Post & It’s All About Moi!

I know I’ve neglected you, oh WordPress. I am terribly sorry and at a loss for words. I have nothing but piles of excuses from how sickly I’ve been to how much work overload has been dumped on my shoulders. But nonetheless, I am back and have noticed that with the effort I put in this blog and being a newbie, I’ve finally reached my 100th post. Huzzah to moi. So, I have decided, to finally share tidbits of myself to my reader friends. I’m sure you’ve wondered . . . right? Haha.

I am . . .
A woman with many fears
A woman that loves long phone conversations
A woman that is jealous
A woman who acts tough but actually possesses a frail heart
A woman filled with tears and laughs and many emotions
A woman full of regrets
A woman who loves to talk
A woman who is full of sadness thus tries to hide it by laughing and smiling more
A woman who gets hurt from too much affection
A woman that is selfish and a troublemaker
A woman that gets lonely often
A woman that can’t honestly portray how happy she is
A woman that only thinks for herself
A woman that gets caught with every lie
A woman that does not like to be lectured or nagged
A woman that daydreams too much
A woman that craves attention
A woman that does not like to interfere
A woman that likes praise
A woman that can get heartfelt from a simple letter in the post
A woman that wants to be beautiful
A woman that is cold and cruel
A woman that is clumsy
A woman that often trips and gets bruises with also scrapped knees
A woman that is constantly in pain with her body and soul
A woman that never turns back when it’s over
Can you ever like someone like me . . . ?

Thanks for reading that randomness poetry(?) about myself.

P.S. I just got a new twitter that’s connected to this blog, so add me please and I’ll follow back to hear and read more about you too! Follow me @love_oclock :]

Apologue #45: Back to Christmas Mode

Brrr~ the weather outside is frightful! And I LOVE it! I’m telling you that I couldn’t be happier. I just got out of a steaming, hot shower — got myself a nice cup of lemon honey tea — and I’m bundled up and ready to cuddle (happily with my laptop, of course, and bust out some leftover Christmas movies I didn’t get to watch over the holiday season).

My mother is nagging again about me being single for too long. Let me note that relationship-wise, I have been single for one year — but dating-around/mingling-wise, it’s been about two or three months (which isn’t too bad). The reason she got all naggy again is because it’s cold outside and she remarked how pitiful it was that I don’t have someone to cuddle with (big whoop). I got my trusty laptop and bundles to bundles of fuzzy blankets to keep me nice and toasty as I watch my movies, thank you very much.

Sure, it would be nice if I had someone special to cuddle with and drink tea and just lazy around home and watch movies with, but eh, it’s not like I can’t do these things alone. I mean, there’s no candlelight steak dinners awaiting or me decking out in a negligee, no sirree, just me, myself and three layers of pajamas. I’m just praying that all my pipes freeze over tonight so work may possibly be cancelled; I’m such the responsible adult.

I’m contemplating whether I should watch a holiday romantic comedy or just have a typical movie night. My weekly movie night is always on Wednesdays, a midweek rest day if you will. I call it, “Wacky Wednesday Movie Mania!” I don’t care what my future boyfriend, fiance, husband says — I’m keeping this tradition alive. Anyways, I’m always up for suggestions on any great movie titles, as well, I’m quite the film mania.

Well, this certainly was an unconventionally nonsensical albeit random post . . .

Apologue #21: Never Look Away

It always amazes me how you can just feel someone looking your way
Even when you’re not looking in their direction and you’re just working, simple like that.
I was working on paperwork and you were cleaning out the icebox
And I was too engrossed in reading what was in front of me that the silence we shared didn’t even unsettle me.
I guess that’s just how comfortable I am around you
But every now and then I can feel you glancing up and looking at me and I ignore it thinking it was the trick of the light.
Because why would you stare? Why would you look?
Because what’s in front of you isn’t anything different
It’s something you see that’s never-changing every time you come by and walk through my door.

But then at the same time I have that little light of hope and start thinking if there’s something there
Wondering what you think about as you catch a glimpse of me.
Is she really reading that paper? How come she never looks up at me?
And then when I think it’s safe to see what you’re doing and I look up and our eyes meet each other
I don’t know what to do but then you’re already smiling so I smile back and cover my face with all the papers.
Panicking if you saw the flush on my cheeks or hyperventilating in hopes that he doesn’t think I was just sitting here
Stealing captures of him with my eyes and not actually doing my work as I told him I was.

Ten minutes, twenty minutes
Thirty minutes seem like hours.
No words are being spoken but the tension is rising
As you know he can feel too how he adores the silence just as much as I do.
Because he understands me without having to deeply know me
By just feeling what I need and want from him because that’s all he wants back too.
But no matter how many times he looks up in hopes of catching me again with my eyes
I keep averting and looking away not because I’m shy.
But scared he’ll catch on and start seeing more than he should see
But it seems he’s already started every time I look away.

Apologue #10: You Look Real Good in Purple

He says I look good in purple
As he give me a thumbs up and leaves for the night
He says I need to watch Thor
Because I can’t come to really appreciate Marvel at its silent best
Plus it just happens to be his favorite movie and wants it to be mine too before we can go see the new sequel

He says he loves it when my hair is straight
But my natural curls always gets his fingers to want to entwine and play with them
He says he loves a girl with some meat on her bones
And isn’t just saying it to make me feel better about myself
But really appreciates that true women all have curves and isn’t afraid to admit that he likes to hold on to something when we hold each other close

He says that he wants something greater
As he talks about past relationships and failed commitments
He says that he wants us to be together
Because he can see the greatness that we can be combined as one
Compared to just a lonely one of two separate existences

He says however that he doesn’t want to get married
And doesn’t want kids and commitments to tie him down too tight
Although he already has two and another woman waiting for him to come down his pedestal
As I listen to him saying that she’s just his past and I’m his new future
As he still ravishes me in words that sound so flawless but gets me uncertain

But at the end of the day as our time comes to a close
And I’m here in front of him and he looks me real close
He still surprises me when I look up and think he’s not looking
But he is and I still feel a flutter as he smiles and he says
You look real good in purple

love o’clock