Apologue #51: LDR

Sorry for my lack of creativity lately. I’ve been struggling with writer’s block these past couple weeks and I don’t know how to shake it off. It’s funny how it happens. I have so much I still have to say but the words don’t come. It’s as if my fingers are disconnected from my brain waves and can’t pick up any signals. It’s the funniest thing and I’m trying hard to get back on track (so, I’m apologizing now in case this apologue is written really horribly). My humblest apologies.

Not only have I had been struck with writer’s block but I have also been bitten by the love bug. And it sure is a nasty bite I would love to share. For my daily readers, it’s someone you already know. I’ve started having a fancy towards my good friend, Ron. But it’s been rough between him and I this past month where this all started.

It actually happened very nonchalantly as old friends would be when it comes to reconnecting. One phone call from him and we were chatting nonstop like teeny boppers yammering about the N’Sync concert (I guess, it’s all about One Direction now, sorry for reminiscing back to the 90’s).

Countless after countless hours of phone conversations, texts, and skyping — my old ticker started pumping once again and I’m sprouting shocking pink hearts of lovey-doveyness at any mention of Ron. It’s hilarious and sad altogether. But it’s definitely also been rough. With working on my end and him being a grad student, our schedules are definitely top notch hard to match. Hence we actually text more than we actually can talk and save our weekends to rewind and binge-talk for hours. It’s not a bad start but having a six hour driving distance is definitely rough too since we really don’t have a chance to drive to each other.

Being the emotional girl that I am, I’m pretty dead set on how my feelings are for him but I have the feeling he’s still in the gray area of things. I know that he likes me, and I know he loves talking to me (and you know how men are on the phone, they do not like talking more than 10 seconds tops), and he definitely makes the time and effort to be there for me, even if it’s only verbal so I guess it’s enough emotional support for now.

But he’s really thinking hard if this LDR (Long Distance Relationship) is good for the both of us. I’ve done it and it’s rough, I won’t lie. He has never had any experience here so I can tell he’s scared even though he hasn’t told me. And I wish there was still some way I could reassure him but let’s be honest, no relationship can be steady and stable without a sturdy trust foundation — and this kind of trust is different in a couple from a friend, and I feel this is where he’s having a lot of trouble.

I honestly can say that I can trust him enough that he won’t cheat or do anything bad while he is apart from me, but I don’t trust the people and the environment he is in, and that does lead to small doubts that there may still always be a chance he could do something wrong. Same goes for me as well. That whole, “out of sight, out of mind” is not a lie.

It’s so difficult and hard to handle how we like each other but we both can’t take a step forward in making this work in fear we would hurt each other (even in the smallest of things). If only one person out of the two of us had the fear and the other was more aggressive to make this work, it would be better. But sadly, we both share similar personalities and characteristics, and we think way too much and end up at a standstill in limbo.

What is the best solution to this problem? Should we back off from each other until our situations become better? Should we still pursue one another no matter what because we both share feelings, no matter the outcome of good or bad? Or do we just talk for hours together FOREVER? Is LDR a lost form of love and shouldn’t be tampered with? These questions and more are cluttering every crevice of my mind and it’s literally driving me crazy (even though I seem perfectly normal and at ease on the outside).

POKER FACE! 🙂

Apologue #50: Ignorance is the Best Policy

THIS IS A RANT POST AND YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Okay, having this established that I’ll be rambling, this is something that boils me over every single time even when, I too, am a woman. It’s just that some girls baffle me to the point where I think my brain is on the verge of exploding. This has nothing to do with age, whether you know the right facts, or what you think is the best choice for yourself because you can’t make the right decisions if you have NO  COMMON SENSE.

I have experience in teaching safe sex education not just to youths and teenagers but adults too. Having been a peer counselor, I am very comfortable in talking about any areas that people have questions about when it comes to relationships and sex, contraceptives and STDs, as well as trauma cases. I actually encourage people to always ask me questions if there are any gray areas or if they are confused about anything (and I mean, ANYTHING). And I have done this long enough to not judge people in whatever problems they bring me. My priority as a counselor and educator, is to always help you first.

BUT, let me just note the fact, that it will tick me off quite a few times, when I tell you to be straightforward with me and encourage you to be honest, but you wait too long until after the problem has happened and thus creating a even bigger problem, and THEN you still want me to help you fix it. I still won’t judge you but I will be very disappointed and upset with you. This kind of irresponsible behavior, acting like headless chickens or off-the-wall hormonal teenagers, will indeed, make me want to rip your head off. Why ask for help now after the aftermath when these have now become your consequences? Do you not know it’s just that much harder to help you now? And you wonder why therapists have high levels of stress.

To explain my rants better, today was just one of those days. A friend (I know!) was scared that she might be pregnant with her boyfriend’s baby and she didn’t know what to do about it. Now, having said that, she was asking for help and I was more than willing to be with her every step of the way. It wasn’t until I got curious to ask just how they’be been managing their sex life when she got so scared from “possibly” being pregnant.

Surprise, surprise. No knowledge of safe sex. No knowledge of contraceptives, even off the counter medications. No knowledge of even understanding and knowing how sex should feel. But the scariest fact of them all, is that she has had other sexual partners before yet she still didn’t know anything remotely basic. She’s been living a life of disarray without any knowledge about taking better care of herself and her body. Seriously? SERIOUSLY?? 

Seriously, you’re in your twenties! How did you live life without knowing any of this vital information? Did your mother never tell you? Did your school never have sex education when you were younger? If no one has ever told you, why did you never ask? You know this is my area of expertise and I’m your friend, why did you not come sooner? If you were too embarrassed, pick up a book. If you don’t know what books to find, my gawd, just Google it. The sources are everywhere. You just did not care.

This may seem like useless ranting, but I’m also stating it because I genuinely care about people and what happens to them. Especially if it was problems that could have been prevented. If you need help, if you have questions, if you need answers, just talk to me. It’s that simple. I will be your confidante. I will help you to the best of my abilities so that I can meet your needs. This obtains to all my followers and people that don’t even follow me. I don’t care. Sex is more serious than we take it for.

I may sound old because of my style of ranting, but I’m young too just like all of you. I’m in my twenties too but I seriously believe that people, young and old, don’t take these matters as serious as they should be. Any questions?

Love Quote #11: The Scariest Thing . . .

The Scariest Thing . . .

It’s crazy scary because this is EXACTLY how I feel right now to the last dot. The person can love me and cherish me and I’d be the happiest person on earth, or break me and curse me and I’ll feel like the most broken anyone has ever felt. It’s ridiculous how we grant so much power to the ones we love but at the same time, don’t calculate the fact how much of that power can be used against us and leave us broken and thrown away like last night’s garbage.

It’s insane because when you think about it, this person that’s in front of you that you’ve been thinking about all day isn’t just there in your head, but in you heart and soul. This person starts creeping into your realm and you start believing that they’re the missing link to your everything and even begin to believe that your existence coincides to their existence.

Just the thought of them make you whistle about through your morning wondering when they’d call next. Your finger itches to check if there were any missed messages or if you should text them first. You look up at the clouds and wonder if they’re looking up at that exact same time too and thinking about you. And as the wind brushes through your hair, you wish it was them sliding their fingers down your hair and it puts a smile to your face just at the thought of it.

It’s scary, I know. Because no one will know just how much this is important to you. No one can feel just how frightening it is that your feelings have ever progressed this far about someone. No one.

Apologue #44: Timing is a Bitch



Kids, your old Aunt Robin knew exactly what she was talking about. Timing sure is a bitch. It’s as if the heavens didn’t have enough to gloat and laugh about from our own daily miseries and decided to add the concept of “perfect timing” as the tip of the iceberg in trying to ruin our decent lives — correction, relationships.

This is the story about how I was once engaged to a wonderful man named Zachery and how horrible our timing was. Zachery proposed during the spring semester of my freshman year in college. Yup, fresh out of high school but fresh into college — what a genius we both were.

It was a time when we were too young and naive to know anything better. Our youthful hearts got in the way of everything and we truly believed that love will solve all our problems. But in all seriousness, we actually planned it out and thought it was a good time. We weren’t that stupid. It just seems those times were ignorant now that I’m wiser and older, or whatever I am now.

I was a freshman starting my pre-med program and he was seven years older and working on his Ph.D towards electrical engineering. We were two nerds in a pod. And frankly, it didn’t bother us much. We’ve already been together for almost two years so school was already much part of our lives. We were just happy to be in the same school together.

We as a couple didn’t do much when it came to the romantic essence of things. We studied, ate, and fell asleep on desks most of the time. He and I were both new to the town and starting fresh, so we didn’t have much friends to hang out either. But it was okay, we pretty much felt married anyways, nagging and all.

After accepting the proposal and planning the wedding we tried to be logical and realistic to the best that we could. We knew each other too well and we both knew that as much as we wanted to be married, the now aspect of things wasn’t a good time. We decided that there really is no use rushing and being the considerate gentleman he was, he knew I needed lots of time to pull off my dream wedding. So, we decided to get married after I graduate from college — he was willing to wait 3+ years for me.

There was never a trace of guilt for having to wait on each other for that long. I wanted to finish school first and at least try and find a decent job and he agreed. He wanted to get most of his program done too before having to worry about marriage life. We managed to be negotiable and understanding as best as we could.

It sounds all good up to here. He was perfect and I was dandy. But time — never holds still for anybody. It wasn’t long, probably half a year, when he started asking funny questions, such as, if I could graduate earlier, what kind of career path I’m looking into, where would I likely want to live, etc. Then he started asking if there was any chance of moving the wedding to an earlier date. I don’t know why, but I started seeing red flags everywhere and I couldn’t explain to myself, why I would in the first place.

I really loved Zachery, I really did. I really wanted to marry him, I truly did. But it scared me to death every time he brought up the topic of bringing up the wedding sooner.

It wasn’t until one day, he went out of town with a couple of friends for some man-time, when he suddenly to call. Naturally, I figured that it was a call about him hitting the road soon or to not wait up. He called to tell me what a great time he was having with the boys and of course, he’d be late but to also check the text he’ll be sending after we hang up. Sure enough, a picture text came and behold, it was a photo of some house. It was extremely beautiful and mesmerizing until I see his text that reads, “I found our dream house. Should we buy?”

I didn’t think he was serious so I brushed it off until he the next day when he asked how I liked the house again. I exclaimed how beautiful it was and asked how’d he find it, but in all seriousness, he asked again if we should buy. I was dead in my tracks. I couldn’t breathe a word to him. I just blankly stared not knowing what to say. I was like a deer in headlights.

He then started raving about how the house is perfect in his ever so excitable voice, and how the city is right in the middle of his parent’s place and my parent’s place so the drive on both sides wouldn’t be too long and unbearable. He then started saying it’s a good time to go ahead and buy it now if we like it so much and then we can move right in without having newlywed troubles of finding a place to go. And he was convincing me that he knew that as soon as he saw the house, he knew that I would love it because it looks exactly like the ones I used to describe on the top of my head on how the porch looks like, or what color it was, or how big the driveway would be.

Zachery really was a great man, and enthusiastic at that. I felt really guilty but it just wasn’t the right time. Rushing everything made me feel as if everything in my future was already predestined because he was taking full control of everything. I didn’t feel happy but more panicky and full of stress and anxiety. I wasn’t relieved that he was being assertive and actually doing something and planning a life for us. It may sound selfish, but this is our life we would be spending together until we die, why weren’t we doing this together? And why on earth is he suddenly rushing when he promised he could wait? What possibly changed?

I tried to persuade him the best that I could that buying the house now isn’t the smart thing to do. We wouldn’t know if that city is where we would be 2-3 years from now after we graduate. We wouldn’t know if we would be able to find good jobs that we like in that city. We just wouldn’t know of anything that could possibly happen that could deter our futures.

Zachery, of course, didn’t buy any of that. He went on full macho-man-mode and started going off, “If we’re going to get married anyway, why not sooner so we have more time together?” or “Are you having doubts about this marriage?” or my ultimate favorite, “Do you not love me anymore?”

In the end, without my consent, he bought the house. I believe that he still owns the house but whether he still resides there is unbeknownst to me since it has already been years since we broke up and ended all forms of contact. But when we did break up, not even two days later, he resigned from his workplace, gave up on his degree program, packed up and moved into that house.

As much I know how much (or maybe not so since I am not him) pain that I inflicted upon him, it hurt me too, how much I had hurt him and literally broke him. As much as I wanted to be honest and tell him how afraid I was on the rush, or how I wasn’t ready as he was about this kind of commitment, maybe we could have found an understanding, I will never know.

Maybe if we had met later in life, it would’ve been better and not end like this. Maybe if we had fallen in love later, much later — after we became good friends, I wouldn’t have lost him forever. Maybe if I was stronger and not so emotionally weak and tested, maybe if I was wiser and older and knew what was right and wrong and be able to say it — he’d still be my life and not an empty hole from my past.

I blame it on timing. I really do. I’ll be dead honest when I say that I’d be lying if there weren’t drops of insecurities and hairs of commitment-phobias, but the timing wasn’t right for the two of us to make those kinds of great decisions at such a young age. I wouldn’t have been able to even drink a toast to wine on my own wedding for crying out loud if I had fallen through and gotten married earlier than planned. But of course, who knows if I’d have ended up happy with three kids on my lap by now as I write on my blog.

Nonetheless, as much as I cared for and loved Zachery with all my heart, having that ounce of doubt and dodging red flags meant something, and I probably still would have made the same decision if I had to relive that moment again. I’ll be honest when I confess that I believe I won’t meet a man like him ever again. He’s indeed very special.

Just wish that timing would have thought so as well.

Apologue #39: On Your FIRST Try!!?

   
   
   

One of my dear obsessions is definitely “Friends.” I can quote anything from it in any given situation in my own personal life without blinking an eye. It’s definitely my go-to sitcom whenever I’m eating alone, or need a pick-me-up, or even background noise. I’m 100% a Chandler when it comes to personality but with marriage, Ross totally hits the target.

I feel that even though I won’t marry as many times Ross did, coming that close to finding the “One” and then losing it because it wasn’t something you thought it was will probably happen to me often. When I was younger and more optimistic about love and finding my soul-mate, I believed in everything that I saw and felt. Now that I’m older and have met enough men to know better, I can’t trust what’s there to be real anymore and won’t believe the love that I see and feel to be true.

Talk about being heartbroken and deceived too many times to make me feel less of a woman, sheesh. The talk of marriage is everywhere now that most of my friends are hitched. Especially close friends and even my family all know about it.

This past weekend, a close girlfriend of mine tied the knot and my parents were ecstatic to hear everything about it and how it went when she called today. Of course she sent a couple texts from her bridal photo shoot and some from the actual wedding, and my parents were very pleased to see them and we are all very happy for her.

But of course, as we all know, as soon as we were done looking at pictures the hurricane of attacks on when I will marry, or at least start dating, blah blah, all your friends are now married, blah blah blah, by the time they have kids and they’re off to kindergarten you may still be single, etc etc. It gets real tiring when you hear this kind of ranting since you were twenty one years old.

But no matter how much I hear about how happy and blissful the couples are even with their faults and mistakes, plus how good the marriage is turning out to be, it really fascinates me every single day how these people find each other. I’m realistic but I do try to be optimistic in life, but I’m one of those people that believe it takes a miracle for two people to fall in love at the exact time to have something special, nonetheless even more if you’re planning on a marriage together.

I’ve been engaged once before to know that love is not perfect and it isn’t meant to be. I’m not foolish and naive that marriage will always be blissful and nothing but rainbows and butterflies. I know it takes a great amount of effort, patience, and a whole lot of love to live with someone and start a family together. So how is it, that others can do it so well but not myself?

I can’t say that having trust issues is the reason why I can’t believe in men because all women have trust issues. This excuse is like the foundation of everything when it comes to putting your faith on men. I can’t say that I have too much experience in dating thus marriage doesn’t work because I’m actually lacking experience and still do believe in the sanctity of marriage. I can’t say that I’ve had the worst luck in finding good men and having good relationships because I did find decent men, it just didn’t work out the right way at the right time.

These days, I’m having a hard time realizing whether I’m normal because I can see all the good and bad of marriages or if I’m blinded that I don’t see enough good in the hearts of men to began anything. It’s like I’m Ross. I believe in love and I do go after what the heart wants — but the only difference between Ross and I, are that he keeps believing that it’ll end out happily ever after and I test if it’s really happily ever after.

I need assurance that I can trust the man and it’ll be alright, but if the man doesn’t give it to me, I don’t ever see the happily ever after. Most of us girls dream of our perfect fantasy wedding and what kind of “prince” we’ll end up marrying and how we’d live our dreamy fairy tale. I personally, can only go so far into the fantasy wedding and I can’t go beyond imagining what the marriage will be like because I’m too afraid to go beyond my fantasy and be shattered by the truth, as if I don’t deserve a fairy tale of my own.

Is it just me? It boggles me because there are more people finding each other and happily getting married and there’s less of people like me that wants to question everything before it’s too late. Am I too cautious or am I just bat-crazy? Leave comments and talk to me about your opinions. I can’t be the only one!

Apologue #28: Super Daddy Syndrome

It’ll be long months before Father’s Day comes around so what’s up with the daddy hooplah? Simple. I want to introduce something I call the “Super Daddy Syndrome” that we young women have been dreaming up. The more I observe other young women, and of course myself included, I feel that I have come to one sure and close idea to why we drive men crazy.

It wasn’t until one day I’ve started to notice that the singles count in my group of friends have started to enlarge by the months. There used to be more couples in our circle but then before we all realized it, we were all just a couple of singles. It started off with the men and then grew onto women. More and more people stopped dating and more and more are continuously saying no to marriage and putting it off the utmost that they can.

I’ll be honest when I say that I’ve heard statistics how people are marrying less and stopped having children. But I sure don’t need research to  show me why this is so when I can see it revealing everything that I need to know right before my own eyes.

When I look at just my male friends, they are all exceptionally well-endowed. They are handsome each in their own respective ways, all either have decent jobs or are students at grad school, and wonderful characteristics. But I kid you not, all are absolutely single and women-free. When asked why that is, most do acknowledge the fact that they should meet someone and honestly reply that they are lonely but also note that to maintain a good relationship and be happy with who they are dating has become a physical and mental hardship.

Before I go on, I also took a look at my female friends that were all single. They were all beautiful and gorgeous, also carry decent jobs or are students, and are loving and carry perfectly good personalities too (just like the men). Most weren’t men-free, they did have dates occasionally but still, weren’t able to carry out and build relationships. When I asked them why they thought they were still single, most either replied that there weren’t any decent men around or that the men they always meet were dogs.

Both groups carry lonely people and both groups all carry exceptionally good potentials for dating experiences, so why is it, that even though they know each other (or even if they don’t) can’t make spark happen? This is where I will start treading on tricky grounds. I am a woman too but I’m going to have to note it all right here that this fault is on our side.

Let me explain. More and more women are growing to have better backgrounds and statuses because of what they can achieve in this day and age. Most are obtaining better jobs and managing them wisely through bettered education systems and experiences. With that, more are able to also reach higher goals, see and want better things, and so also comes more higher expectations from how we also value ourselves. Which is great, kudos to that. I’m all power to the women. I went to a good school, got good job opportunities, met good people, so heck, I know that my expectations and standards in what I’m looking for in searching for a spouse has significantly gotten higher compared to when I was just in college (but I’ve also started seeing young college women also raising their standards higher these days compared to when I was in college too, but that’s another matter).

So with all that in mind, we want husbands with better paying jobs, we want husbands that can afford to take the family out on vacations every year, we want husbands that can cook for us when we get sick (or let alone, cook anything at all!), we want husbands that will love kids and actually take care of them, we want this and that and that and this . . .  see my drift? We don’t want just any man now. We want a Super Man and with marriage, a Super Daddy.

The funny thing here is, women will rarely seldom admit all of this. Because now it’s become a part of the norm. It’s become something that we should all want and should have indefinitely. Because we deserve more and better. So, they can’t admit to seeing this as something drastically more than from what they originally want, because these needs have already become a foundation. Hence, they don’t (or more like can’t) admit that this is too much.

Men already know this (or at least, the suitable bachelors that are my male friends) too. They already feel the pressures and feel themselves being weighed down and drained from all these other responsibilities. Back in the day, it was just a decent job to bring home the bacon. Now it’s this with a side of taking the kids to Disneyland every spring break alongside the basket of laundry and dishes to do before retiring for the night. And let’s not forget a little bit of listening to the wife on how her day went, before actually going to sleep.

I can actually see all of this. They don’t have to tell me it’s hard because I can see it from just looking at myself. I’m not saying that we as women don’t deserve better, of course we do. But just like you’re precious and a princess at your own home with family, he’s also a precious prince in someone else’s. The bottom line is, we need to cut them some slack when it comes to FAMILY responsibilities. It’s not just his, you’re a part of that family too.

If the case was as simple as equaling out errands and paying the bills, this wouldn’t be such a problem. The men already know that we’ll be asking for more and more. Maybe that’s why they are readying themselves for the aftermath of what comes with marriage. While my female friends are searching high and low for any potential man that deems suitable for their future lifestyle, all (I kid you not!) my male friends are studying hard and working their butts off saving for something or anything that can come close as a good family dream for them. To which I find both admirable and upsetting.

I could be sensitive just because they are my friends but the women are my friends too. And I am one of them. Even as I write this apologue and I’m thinking about what I value are my needs, I still feel a twinge of guilt because I still don’t feel like they are much to ask. But I would by lying if I didn’t say that I’m a carrier for the “Super Daddy Syndrome.”

Where did good, simple romance all go?

Apologue #22: Relationships are Harder Now

“Because conversations became texting, arguments became phone calls, feelings became subliminal messages online, sex became easy, the word “love” gets used out of context, insecurities have become your way of thinking, getting jealous became a habit, trust has been lost, cheating became an accident, leaving became the only option and being hurt became natural.”

I have no idea who said this and I’ve been searching everywhere for someone who quoted this but I’m afraid to say I had no hits. But besides the point that it is dead on, I’m fathomed to admit how our aspects on relationships have become so trivial but deviant, really, by how so much has changed over the course of time.

As I sit here reading and rereading this quote, I feel so drained on how honest and truthful this is. People became more stubborn and arrogant, as well as being indecisive and afraid. I feel that people these days hate confrontation and that’s mostly because they can’t deal with face-to-face conversations anymore. We live in an era of non-verbal abuse and hidden messages.

Technology is to blame when it comes to us becoming too dependent of it and so our environment and surroundings match to it without us knowing. I’ve actually seen couples out in restaurants texting for more than half of the time they spend together but they still work it out and I’m clueless to how that works. Are they texting each other? I have no idea and will never understand.

This reminds me of that one episode from Sex and the City where Burger breaks up with Carrie on a post-it note. Pansy move? Yes. Not good on confrontation? Yes. Ten years ago, that’s unacceptable behavior on breaking up with someone and it still applies to today. Maybe we could have been more understandable if the guy just can’t straight out let it out (back then) but STILL, it’s cowardly. It’s like the equivalency of breaking up with someone via e-mail (and yes, I have seen this happen to friends before and it is not a pretty sight).

But seriously, I feel that insecurities and trust issues have become everyone’s bad nightmare and dirty secret. It’s no shock to hear people talk about their trust issues as if it’s the name of their dog. I, just as much as the next person have baggage, but to me, I hear much more of  me-me-me-and-me and all of how the other person has all the problems when both people have equal amounts of crazy high maintenance.

Too many people are broken and too many break themselves. It’s a pity that the mass believe this to be acceptable and rightful in terms of how it’s the most natural process of any relationship but at the same time, know things are getting harder but aren’t turning away to find something more fulfilling. It’s become too natural to turn away from to really see that sometimes the fantasy can be the sweeter reality but then, it’s out of the box and no one wants to be the single man standing anymore.

So, yes. Relationships. Are. Harder. Now. But it’s only hard if you are following the crowd.

Love Quote #5: “Stop being Afraid of what Could go Wrong, and Think of what Could go Right.”

This is an advice I often give to friends but is so hard to apply when it comes to myself. It’s all about the risks you’re afraid to take in case something goes terribly wrong; it’s about surrounding yourself with such sturdy walls that no one can break them down; it’s about choosing to be alone but forever tormented in the idea of a lonely “What If?” With this still in mind, it may give courage to some whilst still fear to others.

To me, the beginning of relationships keep me up on my toes. I’m flirty but guarded, not to mention I’m the Queen of “Hard-to-Get.” I enjoy playing dating games and have gotten the downfall on some because my game is too strong to some folk, which have also hurt me in the process because it makes me feel that no one is up for anything I dish out. These are probably some of the reasons as to why I feel afraid of starting anything new with anyone, because of the fear of rejection or being turned away because he no longer wants to be a part of my games. This also applies to going up the next level in a relationship but afraid to know what changes there may be.

There were times, where I sheepishly can admit, that I stopped liking a guy in retrospect of how our kids could turn out. I know it sounds stupid but when he said he didn’t learn how to walk AND talk until he was almost two and admitted he was slow in the beginning surprisingly freaked me out. That was a no-no no matter how you looked at it but he was indeed a good catch that I let slip between my fingers (and these are the consequences to those “fears” that rule over you that immediately take effect after you start regretting them).

I applied this generally towards relationships but this is something that can totally change gears for your lifestyle as well. It’s all about rooting down and going forward in action to what you believe is rightfully yours. If you get rejected after asking someone out? Fine. AT LEAST, you won’t regret it later wondering if things could have gone better down the road. But what if she or he, says yes? That’s awesome. And you deserved the effort into making it happen.

I feel that in most cases, it’s all how you make of it, but it’s usually a win-win (or at least, my perspective in life is). If you ask someone out and they say yes. Win. If you ask them out and they still say no. It’s still a win. It’s a win because you won’t waste time moping for the next six months trying to STILL read their signals and see if you have a shot or not. Isn’t it better to go with your gut at the right time instead of dragging it longer than it should? It’s really not that good for you at all for things to drag and start to bleed all over you. Trust me, it’s not a good feeling cleaning all that up either.

But in retrospect, I feel that I handle myself well in terms of trying to take my own advice in my own affairs. I don’t listen to my own advice often, and I sure do toss my mind aside but it is best to always listen to what your heart has to say.

So, stop being afraid of what could go wrong, and think, of what could go right.