Unspoken Heart

What do you do when you’re the matchmaker and you fall in love with the person you’re supposed to be helping for the set-up? Here’s a corny yet cute video sharing one matchmaker’s love story. Along with the lyrics that create the perfect mood for the film is the song, “Unspoken Heart” sung by Status Single. Having a hard time spitting it out? Check this out and see if it helps, enjoy! 😀

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Apologue #36: I Know Who I Am


  
  
  

If you have never seen or heard of “Adventure Time,” you need to get your tush down on a couch and shimmy on over to Cartoon Network sometime and watch an episode. It may seem weird and crazy at first, but the message underlying the cartoon motif is amazing. This one for instance, is actually the most fantastic and inspirational advice from a female character geared towards children that I have ever seen!

This is exactly how I feel personally when reflecting my own life, and it is the most comfortable and confidence lifting persona you can ever have. To know who you are and to know what you want takes a long time to figure out. And to have that confidence to know that you will know what you deserve is always a refreshing feeling.

The time you spend in uncovering the crevices and nooks in your heart will enlighten the path in knowing who you need and want in your life. Don’t worry, be happy. Your time will come 🙂

Apologue #32: Alpha Dogs & Beta Wolves

One of the many topics that I will never come close to understanding is the mindset of alpha males and beta males. Of course, I’m not going to get into all of that today albeit it is always an interesting debate; but today, I would like to share an interesting perspective I got from James.

To briefly explain the relationship James and I share together, I really can’t say what we have. A friendship is there and that’s a fact. Is there something more? I believe there to be. But we both haven’t pursued anything therefore it’s one of those open-ended relationships. We do meet every weekend to enjoy the company of one another although we haven’t for the past month because I thought it unwise since I clearly believed that I would be the one that may end up losing all hope. Anyways, my lonely counterpart got the best of me as I could probably say the same with him and we met up for a quick brunch earlier today.

I filled him briefly of what has been going on in the past month of my life as did he and our conversation quickly changed to what has been bothering me lately, which happens to be my last apologue. I told him of my weird encounters with my friend, Ron, from this past weekend and how it has been bothering me. James of course, listened wholeheartedly without any interruption and didn’t judge me for my randomness either (he really is such a sweetheart).

But going back to the alphas and the betas, when he asked what kind of guy Ron was, I immediately went straight ahead and said Ron was an obvious beta wolf. Which actually took James by surprise because he genuinely did not understand where that was coming from and asked for an explanation between the differences of alpha dogs and beta wolves and also as to how I categorize men into them respectively.

I shouldn’t have been surprised that this was his first time hearing such descriptions considering when you think how many men will actually look at other men they encounter and start categorizing what kind of male dominance he possesses? None. I really don’t believe I have met any.

After I embarrassingly briefed him of my speculations as to why I categorize men in this fashion he didn’t say much but that he understands where I’m coming from. What surprised me most was how easily he had categorized other men after my influence. I categorized alphas and betas based off of skill, personality, physical looks, and generally how men confront women. James was more direct and said he believes character and self-esteem in men will generally be derive from whether they are a virgin or not.

Interesting, yes. I pondered on that for a moment and then quietly started to close my case because as much as I didn’t want to think about the sexual history of all my male counterparts, I believe his speculation is amazingly right on the dot. I’m sure this doesn’t concern all men but the generality of the format. But interestingly enough, it seems that the characters and personalities that I look for when categorizing these said men, all do come from the ego part of the man and that again, can root down to sexual security.

This is new information and a train of thought I haven’t dived deeply into which I probably would another time but yet again, I’m blown away to James’ cunning and witty train of thought. Can I even call that wit? I don’t know, but the more I meet this man, the more I know I come into dangers for falling for him deeper each time.

Our brunch was cut short after he asked what I thought of him; whether I think of him as an alpha dog or a beta wolf. I really couldn’t say since I see both parts in him. Maybe he’s a real gamma man, I don’t know. I just wish I didn’t hear what he said next about me never leaving again to see Ron because Ron obviously doesn’t know what a catch he’s missing as he smiles with that sly mouth of his. Tempting dog but a clever wolf, that one.

He kept telling me don’t until we said our goodbyes. And you know, I think I just might say yes.

Apologue #19: Perfect Prince Charming

Finding Prince Charming has forever been a fairy tale that we girls have been brought up with our whole lives since we played dress-up princesses with sparkly gel shoes and plastic pink crowns. It’s like we’ve been embedded with this idea that one day our prince will come and find us and we’ll all live happily ever after. I didn’t grow up princessy even though I am a Daddy’s Girl but after watching ten million Disney re-runs, it kind of sticks to the inside of your skull not willing to come out. I still randomly burst out to Disney tunes and I’m not afraid to share it (it’s like no matter how long I don’t watch the movies, I still NEVER forget the lyrics).

But going back to Prince Charming, I feel that maybe this title comes off too strong for some folk. It’s hard to say, I know I’m not a real princess no matter how many times my father may tell it to me, but I can always feel like one or be treated like one if I see that’s how I want to be treated. But with men however, I feel that the title comes off too grandeur and so they shy away from it. I know that there are plenty of men who believe they are princely enough, but there are more that don’t believe so.

Take for example, my good friend, Ron. Ron and I never dated but we have shared many coffee and dinner get-togethers where I have surely gotten to know him well. He is by far the sweetest man I have ever been with without even dating him, so I know he’s the type that will be sweeter than sugar to his special lady.

After getting to know Ron and becoming good friends, we have had moments of great heart-to-heart conversations. We talked specifically many detailed conversations about the dating game. We enjoyed giving each other pointers and talking about what qualities we looked for, etc. One conversation though, caught my attention and has actually bugged me for a while which I wanted to share tonight.

Ron was talking about the new hottie that had just come into his office and I was interested in knowing what was so “hot” about this new girl. I wanted the goods — what makes her hot the instant you see her without even knowing her? Apparently, in just two measly days, he was able to find out her dating history, her family history, and not to mention all her likes and dislikes. I don’t know if this girl is easy or her game is good, but I listened on.

Just by word of the mouth, she sounded decent enough. Good educational background, pretty face (thanks to the courtesy of Facebook stalking, woohoo! <— can you note the sarcasm there? Exactly why I don’t have a Facebook), new in town so she’s open for any kind of invitation, it couldn’t be any better. So I told Ron to go for it and ask her out, she seemed like a sweet girl and he needs someone good in his life.

Then Ron pulls something incredible that I was actually speechless. He goes, “She’s a princess. Anyone can tell the minute you first lay eyes on her. She’s tall and gorgeous, everything is perfect about her. Why would she go out with an Average Joe like me? I’m no prince. So, I don’t go looking for princesses.

Okay, so it’s one thing to say that he’s not HER prince but to say you’re not a prince, EVER? feels too dramatic for me. It really is a turn-off when egotistical guys try to pull off the “princely charms” but it’s so heartbreaking when a perfectly great and decent guy denies himself that he’s not good enough to be anyone’s prince and so shuts down that part of him altogether. I told him that he could be anyone’s special prince and that he doesn’t have to be a prince for all the women out there. I also told him that if he’s not “looking for princesses” what kind of women is he looking for because obviously, he’s cutting himself real short for denying something he really deserves. Besides, what woman would be okay knowing that your significant other didn’t see you as a princess either but just a Plain Jane. That kind of hurts because we all want nothing more but to mean something more than a Plain Jane to our special person.

Does this not make sense? I feel like I’m rambling but I know what I mean and what I said to Ron was right. He’s cut out to be more than a Joe and definitely a Charming at that. At the moment it may just be me that can see it because I know him so well, but I know that once he opens himself up to other women, they will be able to see the princely charms in him. This is probably why some men have such shot-down confidence levels that go deeper beyond sea level. But that’s another tall tale to tell . . .