Apologue #28: Super Daddy Syndrome

It’ll be long months before Father’s Day comes around so what’s up with the daddy hooplah? Simple. I want to introduce something I call the “Super Daddy Syndrome” that we young women have been dreaming up. The more I observe other young women, and of course myself included, I feel that I have come to one sure and close idea to why we drive men crazy.

It wasn’t until one day I’ve started to notice that the singles count in my group of friends have started to enlarge by the months. There used to be more couples in our circle but then before we all realized it, we were all just a couple of singles. It started off with the men and then grew onto women. More and more people stopped dating and more and more are continuously saying no to marriage and putting it off the utmost that they can.

I’ll be honest when I say that I’ve heard statistics how people are marrying less and stopped having children. But I sure don’t need research to  show me why this is so when I can see it revealing everything that I need to know right before my own eyes.

When I look at just my male friends, they are all exceptionally well-endowed. They are handsome each in their own respective ways, all either have decent jobs or are students at grad school, and wonderful characteristics. But I kid you not, all are absolutely single and women-free. When asked why that is, most do acknowledge the fact that they should meet someone and honestly reply that they are lonely but also note that to maintain a good relationship and be happy with who they are dating has become a physical and mental hardship.

Before I go on, I also took a look at my female friends that were all single. They were all beautiful and gorgeous, also carry decent jobs or are students, and are loving and carry perfectly good personalities too (just like the men). Most weren’t men-free, they did have dates occasionally but still, weren’t able to carry out and build relationships. When I asked them why they thought they were still single, most either replied that there weren’t any decent men around or that the men they always meet were dogs.

Both groups carry lonely people and both groups all carry exceptionally good potentials for dating experiences, so why is it, that even though they know each other (or even if they don’t) can’t make spark happen? This is where I will start treading on tricky grounds. I am a woman too but I’m going to have to note it all right here that this fault is on our side.

Let me explain. More and more women are growing to have better backgrounds and statuses because of what they can achieve in this day and age. Most are obtaining better jobs and managing them wisely through bettered education systems and experiences. With that, more are able to also reach higher goals, see and want better things, and so also comes more higher expectations from how we also value ourselves. Which is great, kudos to that. I’m all power to the women. I went to a good school, got good job opportunities, met good people, so heck, I know that my expectations and standards in what I’m looking for in searching for a spouse has significantly gotten higher compared to when I was just in college (but I’ve also started seeing young college women also raising their standards higher these days compared to when I was in college too, but that’s another matter).

So with all that in mind, we want husbands with better paying jobs, we want husbands that can afford to take the family out on vacations every year, we want husbands that can cook for us when we get sick (or let alone, cook anything at all!), we want husbands that will love kids and actually take care of them, we want this and that and that and this . . .  see my drift? We don’t want just any man now. We want a Super Man and with marriage, a Super Daddy.

The funny thing here is, women will rarely seldom admit all of this. Because now it’s become a part of the norm. It’s become something that we should all want and should have indefinitely. Because we deserve more and better. So, they can’t admit to seeing this as something drastically more than from what they originally want, because these needs have already become a foundation. Hence, they don’t (or more like can’t) admit that this is too much.

Men already know this (or at least, the suitable bachelors that are my male friends) too. They already feel the pressures and feel themselves being weighed down and drained from all these other responsibilities. Back in the day, it was just a decent job to bring home the bacon. Now it’s this with a side of taking the kids to Disneyland every spring break alongside the basket of laundry and dishes to do before retiring for the night. And let’s not forget a little bit of listening to the wife on how her day went, before actually going to sleep.

I can actually see all of this. They don’t have to tell me it’s hard because I can see it from just looking at myself. I’m not saying that we as women don’t deserve better, of course we do. But just like you’re precious and a princess at your own home with family, he’s also a precious prince in someone else’s. The bottom line is, we need to cut them some slack when it comes to FAMILY responsibilities. It’s not just his, you’re a part of that family too.

If the case was as simple as equaling out errands and paying the bills, this wouldn’t be such a problem. The men already know that we’ll be asking for more and more. Maybe that’s why they are readying themselves for the aftermath of what comes with marriage. While my female friends are searching high and low for any potential man that deems suitable for their future lifestyle, all (I kid you not!) my male friends are studying hard and working their butts off saving for something or anything that can come close as a good family dream for them. To which I find both admirable and upsetting.

I could be sensitive just because they are my friends but the women are my friends too. And I am one of them. Even as I write this apologue and I’m thinking about what I value are my needs, I still feel a twinge of guilt because I still don’t feel like they are much to ask. But I would by lying if I didn’t say that I’m a carrier for the “Super Daddy Syndrome.”

Where did good, simple romance all go?

Advertisements

Post Love Letters

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s