Apologue #21: Never Look Away

It always amazes me how you can just feel someone looking your way
Even when you’re not looking in their direction and you’re just working, simple like that.
I was working on paperwork and you were cleaning out the icebox
And I was too engrossed in reading what was in front of me that the silence we shared didn’t even unsettle me.
I guess that’s just how comfortable I am around you
But every now and then I can feel you glancing up and looking at me and I ignore it thinking it was the trick of the light.
Because why would you stare? Why would you look?
Because what’s in front of you isn’t anything different
It’s something you see that’s never-changing every time you come by and walk through my door.

But then at the same time I have that little light of hope and start thinking if there’s something there
Wondering what you think about as you catch a glimpse of me.
Is she really reading that paper? How come she never looks up at me?
And then when I think it’s safe to see what you’re doing and I look up and our eyes meet each other
I don’t know what to do but then you’re already smiling so I smile back and cover my face with all the papers.
Panicking if you saw the flush on my cheeks or hyperventilating in hopes that he doesn’t think I was just sitting here
Stealing captures of him with my eyes and not actually doing my work as I told him I was.

Ten minutes, twenty minutes
Thirty minutes seem like hours.
No words are being spoken but the tension is rising
As you know he can feel too how he adores the silence just as much as I do.
Because he understands me without having to deeply know me
By just feeling what I need and want from him because that’s all he wants back too.
But no matter how many times he looks up in hopes of catching me again with my eyes
I keep averting and looking away not because I’m shy.
But scared he’ll catch on and start seeing more than he should see
But it seems he’s already started every time I look away.

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