This is an advice I often give to friends but is so hard to apply when it comes to myself. It’s all about the risks you’re afraid to take in case something goes terribly wrong; it’s about surrounding yourself with such sturdy walls that no one can break them down; it’s about choosing to be alone but forever tormented in the idea of a lonely “What If?” With this still in mind, it may give courage to some whilst still fear to others.
To me, the beginning of relationships keep me up on my toes. I’m flirty but guarded, not to mention I’m the Queen of “Hard-to-Get.” I enjoy playing dating games and have gotten the downfall on some because my game is too strong to some folk, which have also hurt me in the process because it makes me feel that no one is up for anything I dish out. These are probably some of the reasons as to why I feel afraid of starting anything new with anyone, because of the fear of rejection or being turned away because he no longer wants to be a part of my games. This also applies to going up the next level in a relationship but afraid to know what changes there may be.
There were times, where I sheepishly can admit, that I stopped liking a guy in retrospect of how our kids could turn out. I know it sounds stupid but when he said he didn’t learn how to walk AND talk until he was almost two and admitted he was slow in the beginning surprisingly freaked me out. That was a no-no no matter how you looked at it but he was indeed a good catch that I let slip between my fingers (and these are the consequences to those “fears” that rule over you that immediately take effect after you start regretting them).
I applied this generally towards relationships but this is something that can totally change gears for your lifestyle as well. It’s all about rooting down and going forward in action to what you believe is rightfully yours. If you get rejected after asking someone out? Fine. AT LEAST, you won’t regret it later wondering if things could have gone better down the road. But what if she or he, says yes? That’s awesome. And you deserved the effort into making it happen.
I feel that in most cases, it’s all how you make of it, but it’s usually a win-win (or at least, my perspective in life is). If you ask someone out and they say yes. Win. If you ask them out and they still say no. It’s still a win. It’s a win because you won’t waste time moping for the next six months trying to STILL read their signals and see if you have a shot or not. Isn’t it better to go with your gut at the right time instead of dragging it longer than it should? It’s really not that good for you at all for things to drag and start to bleed all over you. Trust me, it’s not a good feeling cleaning all that up either.
But in retrospect, I feel that I handle myself well in terms of trying to take my own advice in my own affairs. I don’t listen to my own advice often, and I sure do toss my mind aside but it is best to always listen to what your heart has to say.
So, stop being afraid of what could go wrong, and think, of what could go right.