Apologue #19: Perfect Prince Charming

Finding Prince Charming has forever been a fairy tale that we girls have been brought up with our whole lives since we played dress-up princesses with sparkly gel shoes and plastic pink crowns. It’s like we’ve been embedded with this idea that one day our prince will come and find us and we’ll all live happily ever after. I didn’t grow up princessy even though I am a Daddy’s Girl but after watching ten million Disney re-runs, it kind of sticks to the inside of your skull not willing to come out. I still randomly burst out to Disney tunes and I’m not afraid to share it (it’s like no matter how long I don’t watch the movies, I still NEVER forget the lyrics).

But going back to Prince Charming, I feel that maybe this title comes off too strong for some folk. It’s hard to say, I know I’m not a real princess no matter how many times my father may tell it to me, but I can always feel like one or be treated like one if I see that’s how I want to be treated. But with men however, I feel that the title comes off too grandeur and so they shy away from it. I know that there are plenty of men who believe they are princely enough, but there are more that don’t believe so.

Take for example, my good friend, Ron. Ron and I never dated but we have shared many coffee and dinner get-togethers where I have surely gotten to know him well. He is by far the sweetest man I have ever been with without even dating him, so I know he’s the type that will be sweeter than sugar to his special lady.

After getting to know Ron and becoming good friends, we have had moments of great heart-to-heart conversations. We talked specifically many detailed conversations about the dating game. We enjoyed giving each other pointers and talking about what qualities we looked for, etc. One conversation though, caught my attention and has actually bugged me for a while which I wanted to share tonight.

Ron was talking about the new hottie that had just come into his office and I was interested in knowing what was so “hot” about this new girl. I wanted the goods — what makes her hot the instant you see her without even knowing her? Apparently, in just two measly days, he was able to find out her dating history, her family history, and not to mention all her likes and dislikes. I don’t know if this girl is easy or her game is good, but I listened on.

Just by word of the mouth, she sounded decent enough. Good educational background, pretty face (thanks to the courtesy of Facebook stalking, woohoo! <— can you note the sarcasm there? Exactly why I don’t have a Facebook), new in town so she’s open for any kind of invitation, it couldn’t be any better. So I told Ron to go for it and ask her out, she seemed like a sweet girl and he needs someone good in his life.

Then Ron pulls something incredible that I was actually speechless. He goes, “She’s a princess. Anyone can tell the minute you first lay eyes on her. She’s tall and gorgeous, everything is perfect about her. Why would she go out with an Average Joe like me? I’m no prince. So, I don’t go looking for princesses.

Okay, so it’s one thing to say that he’s not HER prince but to say you’re not a prince, EVER? feels too dramatic for me. It really is a turn-off when egotistical guys try to pull off the “princely charms” but it’s so heartbreaking when a perfectly great and decent guy denies himself that he’s not good enough to be anyone’s prince and so shuts down that part of him altogether. I told him that he could be anyone’s special prince and that he doesn’t have to be a prince for all the women out there. I also told him that if he’s not “looking for princesses” what kind of women is he looking for because obviously, he’s cutting himself real short for denying something he really deserves. Besides, what woman would be okay knowing that your significant other didn’t see you as a princess either but just a Plain Jane. That kind of hurts because we all want nothing more but to mean something more than a Plain Jane to our special person.

Does this not make sense? I feel like I’m rambling but I know what I mean and what I said to Ron was right. He’s cut out to be more than a Joe and definitely a Charming at that. At the moment it may just be me that can see it because I know him so well, but I know that once he opens himself up to other women, they will be able to see the princely charms in him. This is probably why some men have such shot-down confidence levels that go deeper beyond sea level. But that’s another tall tale to tell . . .

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