Apologue #11: Heart-Mate


When it comes down to believing in soul-mates, I’m not an affirmative believer on just one soul-mate. I believe that there are many people that can touch our lives and souls and can be a soul-mate. It could be a parent, a best friend, and even a lover. When I was younger, I used to believe in fate and destiny and counting down the days until I too, can finally meet my soul-mate who will be with me forever. As I’ve gotten older and coming face-to-face with the harsh realities of the dating game, my thoughts on the love that connects to the soul-mate has indefinitely been severed. Don’t get me wrong, I still do believe, it’s just that I believe it to be more of different forms of love, not just romantic.

I have few friends that I believe to be are my soul-mates. Friends that have been with me through thick and thin. Friends that know of my deepest and darkest secrets. Friends that will never judge me and friends that will never leave me no matter what the circumstances. I have come to meet more people that love me and protect me that are soul-mates bonded by friendship than that of soul-mates bonded by love. Ironic how that worked out. Maybe that’s why they’re called soul-mates. Maybe it’s named after the people that not just touch our souls but help us to live life the way we should when we deter and fall off the road. Maybe it’s the people that give us hope when we lose our own.

I received an e-mail from a dear friend of mine a few days ago. She’s one of those people that have many names in your life. She’s a friend, a past co-worker, a soul-mate, a second mother – she’s everything good wrapped up into one package. Danielle just turned 65 and is just the sweetest person you’d ever meet, and she mentioned a word that stuck on me the minute I read it. Heart-Mate. She used that word about her husband that’s she’s been happily married to for forty years or so and I really like how she describes her special someone. She was telling me that it’s not just the soul that has to connect but the heart first before anything else can be achieved. That’s why she believes that a Heart-Mate is so special and hard to find because not everyone that you fall in love with can really understand who you are and what you’re made to do. She also believes it’s very rare because we normally don’t open our hearts to generally every person that comes our way during the dating game. We protect our hearts and keep it heavily guarded that sometimes, we believe that we did open the gates, flooding our emotions into relationships but the truth is, we rarely do anymore because we’re afraid of getting hurt and emotionally-scarred. I do admit that my heart is heavily guarded and well-protected, not any man – no matter how persistent – will easily be able to break down my walls. Which I can understand better of it being rare and extra special when the right person comes along. Danielle is very lucky to have found her Heart-Mate in literally “love at first sight.” She told me one time, how the minute she saw her husband, she just knew he was the one for her. Not all of us are just that privileged. Maybe times were simpler back then.

Whatever the case, the word has stuck on and I’m going on a hunt for it. Maybe this is the reason why I don’t believe in the romantic-sense of soul-mates. I’m sure that others can argue that a Heart-Mate couldn’t be any different, but for now, I need a little hope and something to believe in so maybe a little bit of more dreaming wouldn’t hurt me so much.

Where are you, my Heart-Mate?

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