Love Quote #3: “Don’t Go with the Better Guy. Go with the Guy that Makes You Better.”

Hahaha!! This isn’t some trick question, it’s the honest truth. Why stick around someone that pushes you around or makes you feel smaller each day. It’s a surprise how most people sometimes really don’t know what they are looking for in relationships and it shocks me to the core. Just because there is a guy who will ravish you in riches and fantasies beyond your imagination, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you will achieve happiness with him. But, let me also state that the guy in rags that you think will bring you happiness because he’s so sweet and caring isn’t going to give you ultimate joy in life either. There, I’ve done and said it.

I may get some hate from this but I don’t care, I’m going to be honest. I’m not talking about love triangles when it comes to picking which side is better for you, I’m going to go one step further and kick some women in the behind because sometimes we just need to hear it. Rebound.

What does rebound have anything to do with this? Let me enlighten you, my dear friends as to a perfect example that happened to me today. I got a text at work today from my friend, Zoey. Zoey is a good friend but sometimes she can crawl into your hair and it’s not that pretty. She’s definitely one of those friends you keep in touch with every once in a while to be in good graces with each other. Anywho, Zoey has been going through a rough dry spell when it comes to finding a good guy to date. She’s been in the “Why won’t men love me? Am I ugly? Am I not appealing to the male sex?” phase for as long as I can remember. Even though her self-esteem is low, her optimism is what keeps her going. I don’t know where she gets the energy to keep trying. She’s generally the hopeful type which is why she’s been so persistent as well. Anyways, I’ve been telling her not to try so hard but the girl just would not listen and had to learn everything the hard way many times over. No matter how many times you warn her, it never gets through. She’s that kind of gal, a gal that NEVER listens to her girlfriends (then again, who does?)

So, when Zoey texted, I was enlightened when she told me that she has finally found a good man in her life and is seeing him. Officially? I have no clue. I have no Facebook so I can’t check if it’s Facebook-approved yet. Nonetheless, I am shocked because just a week and a half ago, she was moping around about a guy that she really thought was good for her too and she had “strong feelings it was going to work out soon.” So when Random Guy #2 shows up on my text, I can’t help but feel a little appalled at this whole situation.

Random Guy #1 was kind of her back-up guy. They have been friends for a long time and even occasionally dated. Zoey has always had a soft spot for him and when their feelings were rekindled as of late, she thought that finally the right time has come so she was going to go for it. When she did go for it, he disregarded her feelings and went on about how he wants to concentrate on work for now and has no time for relationships (but he clearly intended to get some action, if no strings were attached). But poor girl couldn’t see that no matter how many times I had warned her. Why is it that no one actually listens to us? We just want what’s good for you, dammit! That’s what friends do!

Anyways, after moping about him, you can’t help but see how surprised I was about Random Guy #2 who literally popped up like a daisy, not even two weeks after the mothership went down. Zoey was ecstatic and wanted to tell me everything about how he’s so gentle and caring. Not to forget innocent and pure because he was also six years younger than her. Wow. I mentioned that six years younger was younger than me but that didn’t bother her as long as he appreciated her.

In this case, this quote goes perfectly towards her because she did go for the guy that was better for her. She made her choice in going after the guy that cared for her well-being, respected her and appreciated her compared to Random Guy #1 that was being a jerk and didn’t want anything more than probably a couple of booty calls. But you know, as much as this makes sense, I can’t help but feel a little worried more for Random Guy #2 than Zoey. Random Guy #2 has no idea what she’s been going through these past couple years trying desperately to find a decent guy. He doesn’t know how many jerks had turned her insides out and in all honestly, he doesn’t know anything about her. Zoey on the other hand is such a chatterbox. She will talk about all things in her life that isn’t necessary but will because she feels that you should know them since now you’re a part of her life. If I know any better, before this week is over, he’ll pretty much know her life and dating history. With this in mind, I can’t help but worry that he’ll soon find out he was rebound material so she can feel better about herself. Sure, she finally snagged a decent guy like she had always wanted. And this person generally does sound like someone who would treat her right. Which is my biggest fear because their “relationship” or their “getting to know each other dating” phase or whatever they’re doing right now, may end shorter than expected and poor Zoey won’t know what hit her.

Relationships like these are always hard. No relationship in fact was made to be easy. We all have our rocky roads and bickering ends. I can’t do anything much but watch from the sidelines as things unravel to the truth beneath. No one likes to find out that they were rebound material. And no one should ever feel that way in any relationship, period. It’s the crappiest feeling in the world to know that you were just there and used to make someone else feel better about themselves. If he really is a deeply caring and understanding of a guy as she says he is, I hope nothing but the best for the both of them. Let’s just hope that this ends up far better than I expect it to be.

4 thoughts on “Love Quote #3: “Don’t Go with the Better Guy. Go with the Guy that Makes You Better.”

  1. I always feel for the guy #2’s of the world. You seem women with them all of the time, and you wonder if these men actually realize that they have been settled for, not really chosen.

    I can’t do it. I’ve been talking to a guy like that for a little while, he’s nice and I know a relationship with him would be easy, but something is just missing and I can’t bring myself to give in. And the worse part is, I almost feel like he wouldn’t mind being settled for as long as it meant he had someone, and that kind of makes it worse.

    • I can’t do it either. If I do it subconsciously (which I hope I never do!) I would feel sorry after I figure it out but to do it purposely is just too harsh to any person. Sometimes I wonder how others (both men and women) do these things without even blinking an eye. You’d think people would have more consideration for others since everyone has gone through heartbreak at least once. Thank you for the honest input!

      xx love

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