Well, well, well. We certainly have heard this one at least once or twice or in my case, a bazillion times. When I first saw this comic art, I was so happy because this literally depicts this quote to the exact point. It can’t get any better than that. Kudos to the artist, it’s too bad I couldn’t find any references. Anyways, how did you feel whenever you heard this “wise” quote from someone in your family?
In my case, I’ve heard this quote since probably I was thirteen years old. I don’t know what the deal was or if my family just had a feeling ahead of time that I would be single for a long period or something, but I think I would hear this at least once a year. Even to this day, I hear a whole load of crap from family and friends making excuses for me that the reason I’m single is because my standards are too high for my own good. Who doesn’t have high standards? It’s not like I’m expecting a younger version of Bill Gates to whisk me away to paradise where we’ll blow his money on having honeymoons every single day for the rest of our lives (that actually sounds wonderful, not that I would like to have honeymoon nights with Bill Gates, yikes). But the point being, when it comes to standards, I’m just as level-headed as the next person and I’ll be honest and admit that they can be a bit more demanding but, at least I know for sure what I want and it’s not something wishy-washy that changes every three minutes.
Now as I’m blogging this, I have the sudden urge to write at least my top five. It’s so funny how difficult this is because when I was eighteen, I made a list of 100 qualities that I wanted from my significant other and I prayed every night over one item for 100 days in hopes that God will deliver. It’ll probably take a hundred years for my shipment to arrive but I’ll gladly wait on my order, I never requested for a rush delivery anyways. My first over all qualities is that I want him to be a good Christian man. I’m a strong believer and I have been my whole life, nothing is more important than to be able to share not just my heart but my soul with my special someone. No one else can be as respecting and understanding if they don’t have faith in life as I do, so this quality is a given. For my second quality, I would want him to be someone I can respect and look up to as a husband. I want him to be wise and someone I can learn from. Intellectual stimulation is always a plus in my book. My third quality for him is I wish he would be funny. I come from a very loud and joyous family background. We’re always teasing and joking and having a good time. As much as I want him to be serious and respectable, I want him to be able to let loose and be human too. There’s no point in taking life so seriously anyways, because in the end, we’re all going the same way. So him being able to make me laugh each day and let ourselves have a relationship that’s not always so serious and stiff but fun-loving and something like a friendship is very important. For the fourth quality, I look for someone that is assertive. This doesn’t necessarily mean that I want to be submissive. But I know who I am and I need someone that can give me that extra push whenever I across something difficult that is beyond my reach with just my own powers. I need him to be able to understand but also strengthen me and remind me of what I am capable of doing. We all need a little push sometimes and so I want someone who won’t give up on me when I have given up on myself. Lastly, this is something physical but I really like tall men. When I mean tall, I mean at least over six foot tall, tall. When we’re standing side by side and I look up, I want to be able to see up your nostrils, tall (that’s what my mother used to say to me when I was younger, so I’ll have a decent shot in having above-average tall kids in the family). But I don’t want them tall just because of the children and just because I want to feel minuscule. I want him to be tall because I want him to be like my pillar. No matter how hard things get, he’ll always be my pillar to stand strong and protect me. I want to lean on him on good days but also be able to lean on him on my sad ones. I want him to never change and always be rooted, firmly beside me.
Just by reading my five top qualities, I’m sure you could agree – like my folks and other family members – that I’m bat-crazy and won’t find anyone like this. Honestly, who cares if I don’t? It’s not like you’re marrying them, I will if I find one. And all things aside, why can’t I just dream my own perfect fantasy? I’m sure everyone does. Just by looking at my qualities, I really don’t think it’s too far-fetched. I’m sure there already is someone like this somewhere in the world. Does it matter if we can’t find each other? Not really. It’s just something that would be nice to have.
I remember a couple years back what my uncle said to me when he heard these five qualities (yup, had these five qualities for a very long time now). He laughed at first but later said that just by consensus alone, it’s too demanding and that I should back down on the dreaming. When I asked how so, he replied that just with my first quality alone, my standards are already too high. Sounds ridiculous but the more he explained how there’s more good Christian women than there are good Christian men, I knew everything he had meant. I knew he wasn’t trying to burst my bubbles but he wanted to let me know that realistically speaking, it’s just that hard to find everyone’s “perfect someone.” Heck, if we’re going into statistics and demographics, just by wanting a male alone breaks down the entire world population in half. Then you’ve got to minus out the children, the elderly, men that are already married, men that are gay/bi, men already in committed relationships, cheaters, criminals, etc and then I can finally bring out the Christians but already, everything is so limited. That’s what he meant by just the first quality, chances are too diminished. Never did I stop to think that something like my faith can have such a huge impact when it comes to ruling out possibilities for marriage. Even when I think about it now, I laugh about it because it’s so true and something I should hurry up in doing something about so I actually have a chance in finding someone. But, that feeling of having to choose someone just because they’re there in front of you and they share the same faith as you, isn’t such an appealing encounter because the other half of you still wants to believe you can fall in love without having to try so hard by going against the statistics. You want to love for love not love because options are running low.
As much as I strongly need a reality check in finding a suitable husband, I strangely enough don’t find the urgency or rush that others feel. I don’t have anxiety attacks that I’ll never find someone special. I don’t panic thinking I’ll end up alone for the rest my life and end up as a cat lady with 24 cats. I know for sure I will get married and I know I’ll find someone awesome. I wouldn’t get married if they weren’t as much, would I? It’s true that there are plenty of fish in the sea, but it doesn’t matter if you’re willing to wait for the perfect catch to come along no matter how long the wait. It may seem like you’ve been fishing forever and not even getting a nibble wherever you go; but you’ve also got to remember that fishing is a sport that takes great patience. Don’t settle for any kind of fish just because you caught one. There’s loads of decent fish that’ll come across your net – pretty ones, ugly ones, colorful ones. You just got to wait until you know which one is the one you want to take back home and show it off to everyone. And finding out which one, is all part of the fun in earning your long awaited prize.