This quote in its entirety, my friends, is such a double edged sword. Many or most will come to agree that indeed it is better to love someone you can’t have whether it be a crush, your best friend, someone who already has an admirer of their own, etc than to have someone you can’t love. I personally feel that both ends are straight on dead ends. This is basically a trickery of your own mind and nothing but an emotional roller coaster of trapped feelings for your poor heart.
I don’t do crushes. I can honestly look at you without batting an eye and tell you I don’t do crushes. Why you ask? Because it totally sucks and there’s no gain from having a crush unless you’re the type to actually do something about it. I can vaguely remember racing hearts and squirming with butterflies in my stomach when I try to think of past crushes but I always remember more of being afraid of being caught of my feelings (as if my feelings are an embarrassment) and being discouraged and hopeless that nothing can happen from these small bubbles of happy thoughts.
There was a time in my life when I fell hard for a good friend of mine. It literally crept up so steadily on me that it dawned in a crash that I had such great intensity of emotions for my friend. But at the same time, I didn’t want to pursue it. It wasn’t the cliche “I don’t want to ruin the friendship” bit, but more of “I know we can have something great but I’m afraid to have it” train-of-thought. It was the craziest thought ever because pursuing your own happiness should always be a top priority in your life. But strangely enough, I had become so content with my life in general that I didn’t want to change anything about it. Ironically though, I dated someone else a month afterwards whilst still having reoccurring thoughts here and there of my friend over my current admirer. To be honest, I started dating just so I can stop having feelings for my friend. Selfish, I know, so shoot me. It’s not like I didn’t have feelings for my admirer but compared to the friend, it was indeed significantly smaller. But the crazy thing is, I did grow to become more fond of and loving towards the person I had than to the person I couldn’t have. Did my mind and feelings change for my friend? Not really. But having someone certainly did change me.
So, why is it that we say so quickly that one end is better than the other? Is it because it’s easier to maintain since it’s only one-sided? I don’t think so. For what I know, it’s more hardship trying to cope your feelings and trying to not break every second from the thought of not being with that someone you cherish (even if it is our own choice to not do something about it). We live in a world where more of us live in dreams than live in reality. We dream of having romance like the movies even when we deny to do so. We claim we don’t go looking for drama and that drama just happens to find us but we secretly enjoy being involved.
I feel this quote is like that. I don’t know who said it and I don’t intend to jab at it with a stick and try to defy against it. The general perspective of it is “romantic” but the reality of it is uncanny. My lesson from all this? Someone you didn’t love or couldn’t love before can certainly grow on you before you realize it. And loving someone you can’t have is most certainly a waste of your time and quite frankly, a heartbreak you don’t need to mope over if you can help it.